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FESTER FRIDAY: GENERAL POONHOUND

  In an endless annual news cycle of pure crap, this week’s Petraeus scandal wins the prize.  Breaking News!  Generals like to bang skanks!  And so do politicians.  And fat middle aged men on business […]

FESTER FRIDAY: THE ELECTION!

That’s right.  I’m pissed off at the election.  Why?  Cause the lead up has been so boring.  First off, there’s only two guys running.  It’s like the end of the NCAA Tournament, after 62 teams […]

FESTER FRIDAY: THE NEWS.

That’s right.  I fucking hate the news, and so should you.  Because it’s mostly terrible.  You never put on the news and find out your life is better.  The exception being if they’re reporting the […]

FESTER FRIDAY: FRIDAY.

That’s right.  I got a problem with Friday.  It’s a very over-rated day. Whole fucking week … everyone can’t wait till Friday.  Whether you’re in a corner office or a cubicle, you spend the whole […]

FESTER FRIDAY: THE MOON

That’s right.  The Moon.  I hate the fucking Moon.  And here’s why … it’s utterly worthless.  Because: It’s not a planet.  It’s just a Moon.  And not a unique Moon.  There are trillions of Moons, […]

Fester Friday: Gnomes.

Enough said. They are not Dwarves.  They are not Elves.  They are not Smurfs.  They are not Hobbits or Goblins.  They service no plot elements in Harry Potter, other than to fuck around in the […]

Fester Friday: The Pooping Waiter.

  I’ve decided to take a break from writing homages to The Onion, and go on a true rant.  Since it’s Friday, I’m gonna be creative and call this angry, juvenile column, Fester Friday.  Perhaps […]