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Debate 2012: Irish Night.

This is how real Irish debate!

Let’s just cut to the “punch.”  What the hell was that?  You put two Irishmen that don’t like each other on a stage, and no brawl?  No blows to the head?  No whiskey?  No post-fight song, as they settle their differences like Irish, and go get pissed, then stumble home to their angry wives, and find the bedroom doors barricaded against their drunk asses?

Yeah, I know Biden hasn’t had a drink in a few decades — but he could have taken the night off.  I mean, how bad of a drunk could he be?  Plus, it’s a debate, so the more nasty he gets, the better the television for all of us!

What a night that would be.  Biden, all boozed up and sloppy, lurching at Ryan, bottle of Jamesons in hand, ready to put the smug little bastard in his place.

We’re gonna settle this, Scranton style!

Not that Ryan’s an easy out.  Talk about a nasty piece of business.  Pretty sure the kid would be like, “No, Mr. Biden, please don’t hit me!” luring the old bastard in, then surprise!  Ryan’s Frat brothers jump out from behind the stage, and start beating the bag out of the VP, while Ryan kicks him in the ribs, yelling “Who’s laughing now, fucker!”

Then Ryan removes his face, and reveals he’s part of the V invasion force.   Which would instantly earn him my vote.  Awesome.

Oh, what could have been.

 

About Marty 85 Articles
Hollywood screenwriter, reformed attorney and worshiper of the tiny princesses on Monster Island. Became a nerd as a child, thanks to lack of athletic ability, which turned me on to fantasy novels, scifi movies, and not having girlfriends. Favorite projects I've worked on as writer - adapting BBC SILK for the U.S., the Japanese anime BLACKJACK and currently my passion project, PANDORA. Soon to be a major comic book.
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