Check out Jiff, posing for its so called Guinness Book World Record for… walking. The dog walked, doing a pawstand… and it was funny. Or odd. Beyond odd. How bout a record for weird. I’m just saying, the dog doesn’t look all there. There’s no way part of you isn’t thinking the same thing… I mean, it’s a dog that only walks on two legs. It’s bipedal. But it’s not a person. And it’s not an amputee. And I don’t believe it’s a CGI creation, though if it is, I totally take back everything in this post. But I’m pretty sure the creature’s real flesh and blood. Alive. And probably murdering someone as you read this. Which is why I’m totally freaked out. Just watch the below video, and tell me it’s not f-ing bizarro. Creepy. Old man touching you creepy.
Now take a look at the below Selfie of Jubilex, Demon Lord of Insanity, and tell me you don’t see the resemblance? Come on, it’s so obvious! It’s in the eyes, and the ooze. Don’t you see it! I mean, I’m talking twins. Clones.
Okay, maybe it’s the Chablis buzz wearing off, but I’m slowly realizing that comparing Jiff to a major Demonic Lord of the Abyss could perhaps be a wee bit of a stretch — but I’m not totally off the reservation on this. Right? I mean, it’s just that… I don’t believe that Jiff is a stable individual. There, hate me if you will, but I said it! Dead black, soul-less eyes. Sharp canines protruding from a cavernous mouth, out of which dangles a blood-red tongue… reaching out towards your soul. Not to mention, the human fingers growing out of its stomach are totally gross. Like John Carpenter’s The Thing gross.
Does the above remind you of something. Or somethings. Perhaps our alien masters… the Greys? Hidden within our government, pulling the strings. Think I’m nuts. Isn’t it odd that after Roswell, suddenly we have f-ing computers. Think about it! There’s no other explanation. And now Jiff the Dog. Who walks on two legs like a person, and has a human hand above its belly button.
Add fur and open the mouth, and Jiff’s a dead ringer. And once again, Jiff walks on two legs! And wears clothes. What dog wears clothes? I mean, they don’t have fingers, thumbs. They can’t dress themselves, yet as the below shows, Jiff wears 70s shirts and jean shorts. Not only showing bad fashion sense, but proof positive of its dark, supernatural origins.
Once again, I’m convinced that Jiff the so-called dog is hiding something, and I know what. Its true face. A tentacled, cosmically hideous face, which if shown to mankind, would result in horrors beyond the human imagination. Because Jiff isn’t Jubilex, or our alien masters. Jiff is… Cthulhu!