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RAMBLINGS’ BREAKING NEWS: Bigfoot Finders, Inc. To Air Two-Hour Special Where They Don’t Find Bigfoot!

Bigfoot Finders, Inc. is 100% sure this is a Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, or possibly an Orange County Yeti.

Bigfoot Finders, Inc. founder, Wyeth Crestlow, announced that in the next episode of Channel 67’s breakout hit, Where the Fuck is Bigfoot?, viewers will be treated to a special two-hour episode which ends with no sighting of Bigfoot.  This is a major change in format from all of the other episodes of the show, which end after one hour – without anything even close to a Bigfoot sighting.

Speaking in hushed whispers from the teacher’s lounge at Womack Elementary School, Creslow declared that “What I feel distinguishes this super special, two-hour episode of Where the Fuck is Bigfoot? from all of the other 154 one-hour  episodes where we also found no evidence of a 800 pound, ten foot tall primate – that survives undetected in our grossly overpopulated country, and we now know is immortal given that no bones have ever been found – is the great cliffhanger ending.  Did we find Bigfoot?  Fuck no.  But we’re getting close!”

This tree could only have been broken by a Sasquatch.
About Marty 84 Articles
Hollywood screenwriter, reformed attorney and worshiper of the tiny princesses on Monster Island. Became a nerd as a child, thanks to lack of athletic ability, which turned me on to fantasy novels, scifi movies, and not having girlfriends. Favorite projects I've worked on as writer - adapting BBC SILK for the U.S., the Japanese anime BLACKJACK and currently my passion project, PANDORA. Soon to be a major comic book.
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