MORAL MONDAY: THE SCORPION AND THE FROG.
Today I’ve decided to focus on the famous fable, The Scorpion and The Frog, that some of you may remember from your youth — or not — as I’m aware some of my readers are […]
July 2012
FESTER FRIDAY: HENRY VIII, Royal Dickhead.
That’s right Henry VIII, you selfish, fat fuck. I’m talking about you. I got your number, tubby. You’re soooooo religious … as you kill all your wives, steal church land, and put poor Jonathan Rhys […]
RAMBLINGS’ NOT AT THE MOVIES: THE WATCH
Welcome to the first installment of “NOT AT THE MOVIES!” What the hell does that mean? Exactly what it sounds like. I will review movies THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN, neither in the theaters or […]
Observations from a car wash.
Crazy people are hard to sneak up on. Never kill the messenger. It may be your wine club delivery. As a general rule, the homeless know how to party. Opthamologists are different from Optometrists … […]
Fester Friday: Gnomes.
Enough said. They are not Dwarves. They are not Elves. They are not Smurfs. They are not Hobbits or Goblins. They service no plot elements in Harry Potter, other than to fuck around in the […]
The Unexamined Life.
It occurred to me this morning as I sat watching Kathy Lee drink her third glass of wine on network television, that in an effort to find my Voice – and I do mean Voice […]
Moral Monday: Dancing Guy.
Okay, I said on Friday that I’d go back to ripping off the Onion. But I just wasn’t feeling it today, so I decided to scan my phone to see what I did this weekend […]
Fester Friday: The Pooping Waiter.
I’ve decided to take a break from writing homages to The Onion, and go on a true rant. Since it’s Friday, I’m gonna be creative and call this angry, juvenile column, Fester Friday. Perhaps […]
NY Jets Coach Rex Ryan announces there is no Sanchez/Tebow Quarterback Controversy – “They Both Suck!”
Addressing the Press from a snack break at Carls Jr., NY Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan has decided to clear the air about what is being called a quarterback controversy in New York. “I’m tired […]