The Scorpion and the Frog is a classic fable, and my number one post, based on popularity. I.e., around twenty people liked it. So, I decided to revisit the tale, with the new twist of bringing it up to date to reflect our cyber world. So here we go…
So, in the original fable, the Frog is hanging out on his Lilly pad, when a Scorpion approaches, and asks the Frog to give him a ride across the stream on his back. And the Frog, not being a complete moron, says no, you’re an F-ing Scorpion and will sting and kill me. In the original fable, the Scorpion denies his homicidal nature. The Frog continues to be skeptical, but finally gives in to the Scorpion’s solid logic that if he stings the Frog while en route to the other side, both will die. The Frog buys this theory, only to be killed half-way through the trip across the stream by the Scorpion, who, spoiler, stings him. Both die, but not before the rightly pissed as F Frog screams: “You’ve killed us both, why?” Scorpion: “Because I’m a Scorpion.” End of fable.
That said, I think in today’s world the fable would be a bit different. Our modern-day Scorpion, faced with the Frog’s initial resistance, would probably TROLL the Frog on social media, SHAMING the racist Frog. #notallscorpionsarekillers, #Scorpionslove #frog’sahater. The Frog’s media accounts are suddenly flooded with hate and bile directed at his so-called hate and bile for the poor Scorpion. Clearly, the only solution is to give in to the victimized Scorpion’s mild request, and carry the wonderful creature across the stream.
Frogs hate cyberbullies.
But screw that. The Frog, grabbing his iPhone, summons the haters of his haters, resulting in hundreds of thousands of new followers, convinced that the Scorpion is the asshole. Because, the Scorpion is cyberbullying the Frog. With a few clicks, the Scorpion’s Android is exploding with anger, and suddenly, the Scorpion is being shunned by his other poisonous friends. He’s ruined.
Scorpion’s don’t quit easy.
Until… the Scorpion reveals a secret nobody knows. The Scorpion actually identifies as … a Tarantula. Suddenly, a million on-line Tarantulas love the Scorpion and hate the Frog. The Frog is so fucked! He’s been banned from Reddit.
The frog fights back.
Game on says the Frog, who now switches genders. Yes, frogs can do that! And now, the question is, why do you want to be on my back, Scorpion, you sick perverted bastard. Boom. The Scorpion just got #frogtoo’d. He’s the creepy Kevin Spacey of the invertebrate world. Game over.
Scorpion’s got some sting left.
But no, the Scorpion’s not giving up. He’s a stone cold pre-historic killer that lives in 150 degree deserts, party’s under rocks and kills the shit out of everything. Plus, he now has more followers than the weakest Kardashian, so he makes another post. The Scorpion’s crossing the god-damn stream, now… without the evil Frog. And yes, the Scorpion’s can’t swim. #courage #swimscorpionswim. But all that matters is getting to the other side, because that is his dream. #believethedream #crossthestream #teardownthewall. And our brave Scorpion jumps into the stream…
And the Frog for a moment is happy. One less sociopath, until the Forg’s accounts explode with outrage! You’ve killed the Scorpion! #monster #frogisadick. The Frog, seeing both the Scorpion and his online presence sink like a Scottsman (Scottish people can’t swim), jumps off his fly Lilly pad, saving the Scorpion, carrying the poor creature across the stream.
Only to be brutally STUNG in the back, injected with deadly poison. “You’re such a dick,” says the Frog. “I know,” says the Scorpion. And both die. The end. The morale of the fable being… never trust anyone with an Android phone.
Want to know more about the Scorpion & the Frog, here are some other good, though less amusing, takes on it…
https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/9/26/16345476/stanford-psychologist-art-of-avoiding-assholes
Wow…