Ramblings’ Not Quite at the Oscars: Part I.

People say that Los Angeles doesn’t have weather, doesn’t have seasons. Not true. We have Award seasons. And none is greater than the Oscars! Why? Because the “movie” people send out Oscar screeners – free copies of every movie that most of America is forced to spend $15 a ticket on.  Of course you have to be important to receive such screeners. Or perhaps not. Because I get them… and  have opinions.  Which I will share with you, saving you hundreds of dollars, so on Oscar night you can sneer at some poser at a viewing party that you too have an opinion on UNBROKEN: “Yes, Jolie is a genius. And has fantastic legs.” And here they are – my reviews of the most important of the contenders. Part I. Whether Part II ever is written depends on my wine fridge.

THE WILD!

This movie does not require a lot of discussion. Plot is Reese Witherspoon has  generic independent movie problems and decides to backpack around the Western U.S. She meets many people, has unexpected connections, ultimately doesn’t find what she’s looking for… but in a way does.

My review. This movie was HORRIBLE. But, just so you can judge for yourself, below are some images that tell you everything you need to know about this meandering journey.

That’s pretty much it. In fairness, there are some FLASHBACKS to tell us why she does what she does – jerk boyfriend, dying Laura Dern Mom, drug addiction, nymphomania, etc. All terribly sad stuff, granted… but not something I needed to experience through multi-millionaire Reese Witherspoon. And they already kind of made this movie called… INTO THE WILD. Hmm, didn’t even try to change up the title. Go figure.

Which is why you should save your money, and watch…

THE IMITATION GAME.

A very important movie. Why? Because it is British and stars many important British actors, including Benedict Cumberbatch. As in SHERLOCK and KHAN from the last Star Trek – assuming you’re reading this at the second I’m writing this. It also deals with World War II, a very important war – and tells the story of the man who literally helped win the war in a major way, but as a reward was thrown into the dirt, and utterly destroyed. In short, I LOVED THIS MOVIE!  You must watch it.

Here are some visuals of why you will LOVE this movie.

THE IMITATION GAME is the story of a brilliant man who invented the computer, cracked the German code saving millions of lives, but was destroyed for a secret.  A secret that today means nothing. He was gay. In 2015, he’d be rolling in San Tropez with Sir Elton John and have his own Bravo show. But thanks to bad timing, Alan Turing’s payment was chemical castration, depression and death. What does all of this add up to… multiple academy awards. Put that in the Bank of England. And watch this movie.

But maybe not this one…

UNBROKEN.

Or maybe so. The movie is not terrible. It’s not great. Not sure it’s good, but it does deal with an interesting person. Louis Zamperini. Fought in the GREAT WAR. Bombadier on a B24, survived a water landing. Very rare. Survived on a life raft in the middle of the Pacific for 45 days. Was rescued by Japan – when Japan hated us – and basically was tortured for 2 years in Tokyo by a Japanese pop star. Then we nuke Japan, and he’s freed. Japanese pop star escapes without consequences. Run credits. That is Unbroken. Watch it if that’s your bag. To help, here are some images…

Okay, so this one is your call. I’m putting it on you. I say watch it… but then again, I did without paying a dime. Is it worth $15? Nah. $10? No. $5? Yes! Get the Child matinee rate. Or sell a movie and get free screeners.

Hope this helped and stay tuned for Part II:

The Theory of Everything. Fox Catcher. Night Crawler.

And maybe the new Hobbit…