The Unexamined Life.

It occurred to me this morning as I sat watching Kathy Lee drink her third glass of wine on network television, that in an effort to find my Voice – and I do mean Voice with a capital V – that I have lowered this Blog to poop jokes and cruel shots at dancing Deadheads.  Is that my Voice with a capital V? No.  I am classically educated.  I still have the student loans to prove it!  So, I’ve decided to make Wednesday about deep thought and contemplation.  About philosophy.  About the Socratic method.  And I’ve invited a fellow scholar, also classically educated (but from a lesser College), who we’ll call For-stotle, to engage me in an oppositional discussion.

Our Proposition is the Socrates classic: “The Unexamined Life is not worth living.”  Forstotle will defend Socrates’ famous statement.  While I – Martystophanes – will challenge the great Socrates.  We actually had this debate, and recorded it, which I will share with all of you.  Prepare to have your mind’s stimulated!

Forstotle (hereafter F):  The unexamined life is not worth living.

Martystophanes  (hereafter M):  That’s it?  You’re just repeating the proposition?

F:  Yes.  That’s how you start a Socratic debate.

M:  Says who?

F:  Socrates.

M:  And you know that how?

F:  Because when I went to college, I actually read.

M:  What does that mean?

F:  You know exactly what that means.

M:  I don’t think you want to go there.

F:  I’m going there.  You barely remember college.

M:  I’m warning you.

F:  What was the name of the library again at Georgetown?  The Pub.

M:  At least I wasn’t a stalker.  Did they ever find the body?

F:  She loved me!

M:  Nobody has ever loved you.  Your wife is only still with you because of the children.

F: You’re overweight.  At your age it’s not healthy … and disgusting.

M:  That really hurts me!  You know I’ve been dieting.

F:  Sauvignon Blanc is not a diet.

M:  You ruined my wedding.

F:  Here we go!  Always back to the toast.  I knew this whole stupid blog debate thing was gonna lead to this!

M:  You don’t tell 130 guests that the groom had a nose job.  Twice!

F:  Fuck you, fake nose!

M:  I hope you die.

F:  I hope you get turned into a vampire, and sealed in an iron coffin that is dropped in a bottomless trench in the ocean for eternity.  And you eat yourself, fatso.

M:  Is there unlimited wine in the coffin?

F:  Maybe.

M: Sounds pleasant.

F:  Kinda does.

M:  I think I feel smarter after this debate.  Using the mind is good.

F:  Me too.  We should exercise our intellects more often.

M:  I agree.  Have a good week!

F:  You too, bro!