I’m not going to repeat my post at the end of 2017, where I told the year to go to hell, and happily welcomed 2018… which was not much better. In fact far worse… That said, there is always a lower floor, so I will not curse out 2018 and blindly embrace 2019 as some new lover, knowing that the gods are laughing at my folly and hubris. Instead, I will be hopeful that 2019 will bring all of us happiness, chocolate and hopefully first contact with a benevolent alien race that possesses the cure to gout.
While the world may seem to have grown darker in 2018, there were several things that should give all of us hope. The fall of Romaine lettuce for example – a stupid leaf that has ruined many a meal – and apparently now has been un-masked as a stone cold killer.
The year 2018 also saw the return of LOST IN SPACE, and a strong return it was thanks to the Robot. The first time it said “Danger Will Robinson,” I nearly wet myself. Bravo LOST IN SPACE team, though you do need to fix some character issues with Parker Posey’s Dr. Smith. You can’t just make her Chaotic Evil in every scene!
Another positive to this past year is that I feel that more and more people have finally discovered the courage to admit something completely taboo in 2017 – that THIS IS US is not that good. Sorry, I know that the Sensitivity Police are now looking for me, and Sterling K Brown will probably beat the crap out of me next time we work out together but – it’s just the truth. La verdad.
Nature had a strong 2018, with lots of superstorms, mega-typhoons, and Nuclear Gusts, swatting our mortal dwellings aside with the disdain of a Kardashian for a Four Seasons buffet line. Nature is now WOKE. Yet airline prices are going up. This makes no sense. Go Nature.
What else didn’t suck in 2018? Hmm, Al Roker’s still alive, which is kinda cool, though his hobble has increased slightly. I really hope Al doesn’t have a creepy door lock though. #todayshowcurse
But enough of my yakking. Stop reading and get out and pop the Champagne. The ball is dropping, as I can already hear the nervous titter of Anderson Cooper’s laughter, as he prays that New Year’s co-host and best fab bud Andy Cohen, doesn’t go all Kathy Griffin on him and drop the “C” bomb on live t.v.
Which means that 2018 is approaching its end. And our new Master, 2019 is arriving. Welcome 2019 – we swear allegiance to you. Please protect us… and cancel THIS IS US.
Happy New Year!!!
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